Running in the winter has become something I never imagined I would find so enjoyable. All day I kept yelling at PM (pottymouth) about a snow run. It’s all I could think about. There is something so mesmerizing about being out on the trail with a few inches of fresh snow. I was determined to get a long run in so I chose my 6 mile, out and back, run. I got home from work and gathered up all my clothes and quickly changed. So quickly that …well OK TMI WARNING- STOP READING NOW if you are easily offended, have a weak heart, don’t like hearing about the dirty bits etc….
I’ll wait here a minute for you to decide…
Ok so the rest of you pervs that are still reading. Here goes. I was in such a rush that I just left the underwear I was wearing on. No they weren’t tighty whities, no g-string, no banana hammock , no they weren’t edible..(bleh) They were boxer briefs but the problem..which I was to find at about mile 5, was that they were made out of cotton. As I came out of the woods I started to feel this weird ache coming from my left nut. (testicle, ball…jesus there’s just no nice way to put it) It was like some dude was running next to me pressing his finger into my ball with as much pressure as possible, and the cold was shocking. I reached down and just grabbed myself and was running a low 9 min pace while cupping and applying pressure to my family jewels. Luckily it was night time and on a dirt road. I let go and the pain came back and kept getting worse. I ran the rest of the road with my hand over my stuff. When I got home I stripped off my running pants and started rubbing myself to warm them back up. Haha…no That’s horrible..but you read this far I figured I would gross you out.
So there you have it. Don’t wear crappy underwear to run. I have to say I was super impressed with my new NorthFace pull over with the flashdry tech material. It does exactly what it says.
A few pics from tonight. No I don’t look as sassy as Ms. Potty Mouth ..I was going for more the Secret Agent Man look…..